Love Drunk

Remember Valentine’s Day when you were little? Teachers would distribute class lists so no one was forgotten and you had a mailbox on your desk carefully constructed out of doilies and glitter. Browsing the Valentine’s Day aisle at Target, I was reminded of those sweet love notes and decided to send out some of my own, a grown up version of a childhood tradition. Grown up means involving alcohol, in case you weren’t aware. Inspired by this post I found on Pinterest [duh], I headed to BevMo and loaded up on mini liquor bottles – did you know they’re called nips? Me either. With heart shaped stencils, pink and red pretty paper and enough glitter to drown Ke$ha, I got to work. Taking cues from the classic conversation hearts I love so much, I wrote cheesy sayings on pink sparkly hearts and tied them to the tops of the nips with red ribbon. Valentine, you hit the Mark, on Maker’s Mark. Your love takes me Skyy high, on Skyy vodka. You’re number One, on Kettle One. I’m sure you get the idea.

But grown up valentine’s can be tricky. There isn’t a teacher with a class list. And mailboxes aren’t a mere matter of steps away. You have to go to a post office, and after a miserable afternoon at that dreadful place, never had I understood the phrase “going postal” so completely. I also failed to mention that the BevMo five cent deal is in full effect. So my apologies to anyone who didn’t receive a love note from yours truly. My memory isn’t the best after a bottle of sauvignon blanc, my patience wears thin and my ability to tie a perfect bow flies out the window. But boy, oh boy, you should see how crafty I get. Can you say heart shaped confetti?