Movie Theater Etiquette

If we’re speaking honestly - and considering I told you I cried over a leather jacket, I’m on the verge of a quarter life crisis and I nearly puked in the gym, I’d say we have a pretty honest relationship – I have to tell you something. I’m not the most punctual of people. I don’t do it on purpose, and I mean no disrespect, I just tend to lose track of time. While I may not always be on time, I am never tardy for the party (is that still funny?) and I never arrive late with a coffee. Seriously, nothing is ruder than arriving late with a latte in hand. If you’re running behind, you definitely did not have enough time to stop at Coffee Bean. Obviously. So not only am I not on time, but I am not caffeinated, and not happy. Maybe if I grabbed my coffee before I started getting ready I would move faster, thus arriving on time? Then again, I have to get ready before I can be seen at a coffee shop. I mean, what came first – the chicken or the egg? I suppose this will forever remain a conundrum.

 There is, however, an exception to this rule – I always arrive late to the movies with a deliciously brewed caffeinated beverage of some sort, and you better believe my Marry Poppins bag is stuffed with snacks.  When I’m not inhaling my concession stand standard – popcorn and M&M’s together, and usually demolished before the previews end and the movie begins – I’m doing some serious munching. I’ve packed personal bags of bin candy, slices of apple with peanut butter, even Cold Stone ice cream – with a lid on, of course – and all with the same partner in crime, Jaclyn; the Siskel to my Ebert.

Having finished an iced soy latte, and Jaclyn’s brain needing a much deserved break from her anatomy textbooks, we changed our pace and headed for an evening showing of Limitless with my boyfriend, Bradley Cooper, stopping at Chipotle on the way. This is where the debate began. Cutting it close on time, obviously, Jaclyn suggested we take our burritos to go and enjoy in the theater. I on the other hand, preferred to spare other theatergoers and stuff my face in a matter of minutes prior to being seated, hoping to only miss the previews. Some foods are just not appropriate theater food, and I feel Chipotle is just one of them – if nothing more than because had I been someone else in the theater not eating Chipotle, I would have been so insanely tormented by the delicious aroma, crunching of the chips, and overall jealously that I wasn’t eating it myself, that I would be unable to enjoy the movie. Jaclyn differed, but only because she was one of the people enjoying Chipotle. So, I propose the following question – who’s side are you on?

In any case, the movie was unreal amazing. Two thumbs up. And we definitely both agreed on that. So much so that we sat in the theater long after it was over to discuss. But, I do have a few more questions. If you have not seen Limitless, please read no further. Or do, but I warned you.

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1.     How sexy is Bradley Cooper?

2.     Do you think he killed that girl in the hotel?

3.     Did you cover your eyes when he slurped the blood, too?

4.     Do you think his politician hair cut grew out in time to film The Hangover 2?

5.     Does that drug really exist?

And if you were wondering, we allowed ourselves seven minutes to eat as much as we could before we packed up, arriving with perfect timing. Jaclyn finished hers in the theater, while I wished I did too, until I got home and devoured it then. And if there's one thing better than Chipotle, it's leftover Chipotle.